The Hilarious Tale of a Chop in Newbiggin

A meaty story that'll have you in stitches!

It all started on a blustery day in Newbiggin. I was wandering down the high street when I saw a sign outside a butchers advertising 'Chop Tuesdays' - naturally, I wasn't going to pass up on that! So I headed in, greeted by the friendly butcher who was sharpening his cleaver like a pro. 'One chop please!' I said, feeling particularly carnivorous.

As I waited for my chop to be bagged up, I noticed a local sign on the wall which caught my eye - 'World Nettle Eating Championships next Saturday'. Needless to say, I was intrigued. Could any stomach handle a whole pile of nettles? I made a mental note to come back for the championship and grabbed my chop, which was surprisingly heavy!

Feeling peckish, I opened the brown paper bag and sunk my teeth into a delicious looking chop. Suddenly, something snapped! My tooth had cracked clean in half! 'What kind of chop is this?!' I exclaimed, looking up to see the butcher cackling away. It turns out I'd been tricked - this was no ordinary chop, it was made of solid marble! I couldn't believe I'd fallen for such a silly prank.

With a sore jaw, I made my way out of the butchers, deciding I needed something to cheer me up after my dental disaster. That's when I remembered the sign for the World Nettle Eating Championships! Well, it's not every day you get to witness a nettle eating competition, so I headed back to Newbiggin the following Saturday. And let me tell you, watching people chow down on those prickly plants was a sight to behold. The winner managed to eat 76 feet of nettles - I kid you not! Overall, it was a strange but memorable day. One thing's for sure though, I won't be going back to that butcher anytime soon...